Just Pretend?
by Kye-kye cat
Summary: Gilbert asks Matthew to come with him to Germany as his fake fiance.  Prussia/Fem!Canada, Gerita.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own.

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><p><span>"Hallo, Mutti." Gilbert muttered into his cell phone. <span>

"Hallo, Gilbert." '_Cheerful as ever.'_ "I hope you're getting ready to visit home soon." 

"It isn't for another two months." 

"You still should be getting ready Gilbert-" '_Yak yak yak. No wonder Vati left you for that Italian.'_ "-bert…Gilbert!" 

"What?" 

"I said 'Are you going to bring your fiancé with you when you come or am I going to just be getting another excuse from you?"

'_Scheiße!_ _I forgot about that.' _"Ja, she'll be coming."

"Gut, I haven't even heard her name let alone met her."

"Her name?"

"Ja, Gilbert. Her name." 

'_Name? Name! I haven't thought of a name-'_ Gilbert paused his train of thought when he caught flash of red in the corner of his eye. '_Perfect.'_

"Her name is Matthew Williams."

* * *

><p>Later that day:<p>

Gilbert paced in front of Matthew's door, pausing ever so often to tentatively raise his hand to not then pull his hand back and resume pacing.

'_What am I going to do? Birdie will never say yes to this! We only ever got together those few time then went right back to being friends. We haven't even gone a date- Wait, does the meeting each other at a bar and going home to have sex count as a date? I didn't buy her a drink so- Hold it you're getting off topic! There's no way she's gonna say yes and pretend to be my fiancé!' _

Unknown to Gilbert, Matthew had been watching him from the window and had now opened the front door to watch him with a amused smile. '_I don't even know that much about her past if she did say yes! There's no way we'd pull this off-'_ "Something I can help you with Gilbert?" Matthew called to the albino.

"Birdie!" He faced her, expression rapidly changing from deep thought to surprise. "You know what, never mind. It's a stupid question anyway and you probably wouldn't go for it."

"You cannot **know** anything, Gilbert. Only suspect." Matthew smiled. "And I suspect you'll be proven wrong."

'_Where had he heard that before?'_ "Okay… I was coming to ask you for a favor …" Gilbert trailed off nervously.

"Uh, Gilbert? I'm gonna need a little bit more information than that if you want an answer." She chuckled at him and gestured for him to follow her into the house. "Come on I'll make pancakes while we talk."

Gilbert sighed before following after her down the hall. '_No way would a girl like that stay with a guy like me anyway. Wait a minute!'_ "Did you just quote Assassin's Creed?"

* * *

><p>"Okay now I'm starting to get worried, Gilbert." Matthew frowned at him. "Is there something wrong with the pancakes? Normally I can only see a blur going from your plate to mouth after I sit the plate down."<p>

"Nein, the pancakes are fine, Matthew it's just…" He was struggling to force the words out of his mouth. " IneedyoutogowithmetoGermany, andpretendtobemyfiancé!"

…

…

…

"I'm sorry can you repeat that? I only got Germany, pretend, and fiancé out of that?"

"I need you to go with me to Germany, and pretend to be my fiancé." Gilbert repeated. "I understand if you don't want to. I just might've mentioned to my family over the phone that I was engaged a while back and your name came up in a conversation with Mutti that I had earlier about the trip I'm taking their in two months. On second thought, I'll just leave now." He sprang out of his seat then jogged to the door and down the drive way.

"Gilbert! Gilbert, wait!" Matthew's voice stopped him in his tracks. "I'll _consider_ it."

Had he heard that correctly? Gilbert spun around to meet Matthew. She stood on her porch steps nervously fiddling with the red hoodie she wore, and the blush on her face nearly matched said hoodie, but her eyes held resolve in them.

"Danke, Birdie."

"Don't thank me yet I only said that I would _consider_ it. Just give me some time to think it over before you go and buy another plane ticket."

"Actually-" "You already bought a second plane ticket didn't you?" "…Maybe." "Get in the house." She sighed. "Might as well warm up your pancakes while we talk."

Gilbert smiled at her.

* * *

><p>"You have five older brothers!" Gilbert gapped at her.<p>

"Technically Tino's just an in-law, but I've known him almost as long as I've known my brothers…so yeah five older brothers and one younger twin." Matthew just shrugged at him, to her it was no big deal. "I can't even remember the number of sibling-in-laws I have though. I lost track after Alfred married Arthur Kirkland."

"Hold on a minute." He stopped her before she could delve into more detail. "Alfred? As in Alfred F. Jones? He's your brother?"

"We have the same mother." She nodded. "Technically he's my younger twin half-brother, but that's a mouthful to say."

…

…

…

"Him and Eyebrows finally got married?"

* * *

><p>"Okay so your eldest brother is Berwald who was born in Sweden…followed by Mathias from Denmark, Lukas from Norway, Emil from Iceland, and Tino somewhere between Mathias and Lukas?"<p>

"And my father's name?"

"Is it…Dimitri?"

"Yes!" She jumped to hug him. "You did it Gilbert!"

* * *

><p>"Your mother is Johanna, your father is Aldrick, who left your mother for an Italian three years ago, your younger brother Ludwig married Feliciano, and you have a canary named Gilbird?"<p>

* * *

><p>"What's selective mutism?"<p>

"It's an anxiety disorder where if I'm…uh panicked enough I just can't talk."

"Is that why you were so quiet as a kid?" Questioned Gilbert.

"Yeah, it's not as bad as it used to be, but given the right situation I couldn't talk even if I wanted to.

* * *

><p>(Morning before the flight)<p>

_Motherfucker I'm awesome_

_No you're not dude don't lie_

_I'm awesome-_

"What. Is. It. Gilbert." Matthew practically growled into her cell phone while feeling around for her glasses.

"…"

"Gilbert!"

"Sorry! I've just never really heard you with that tone before."

"I'm not a morning person." Matthew groaned as she stretched her body in an attempt to wake up more. "Time to load up?"

"Yeah. I just parked my car in your driveway so any feel free to bring your stuff down."

"I'll be down in a minute." She clicked the phone shut.

"Why did the flight have to be so early?" Matthew questioned herself aloud. She quickly stripped out of her pajamas and tugged on her clothes she set out the night before; loose jeans, a 'The Tea Party' t-shirt, and red hoodie. Originally she thought about wearing a Canuk jersey, but being so early in the morning she would've been freezing.

She slung the backpack over her shoulder was gone.

* * *

><p>"That was quick." Gilbert commented when she kicked the front door shut.<p>

Matthew glared at him before picking up the duffle bag she'd put down stairs last night and tossed it to him without ceremony.

She walked down the steps, climbed into the car, and shut the door with more force than was needed.

"She really isn't a morning person." He remarked.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Birdie." He nudged her shoulder when they were almost to the air port.<p>

"What?" She sat up in her seat after a few more nudges.

"There." Gilbert dropped an object into her lap. "Wear that."

Matthew stared at it. It was a dark blue velvet box that she assumed held a ring in it.

"Go on and open it."

She did.

It was an engagement ring. White gold band with three diamonds on it.

"Usually we don't have engagement rings in Germany, but…" He trailed off.

"It's beautiful." She assured him. "The right ring finger, right?"

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>"There's Ludwig." Gilbert tugged at their clasped hands to lead her in the direction of his younger brother. "Hey Luddy!"<p>

"Guten abend, Bruder. Hallo Matthew." Ludwig nodded to each. "Let's go to my house, I'm sure you're both tired from your flight."

"That's how you greet your awesome bruder after-" Matthew quickly silenced him with a smack to the back of his head before he made a big deal of it, they were both tired.

"Salut Ludwig and merci, it was exhausting."

"The flight or dealing with Bruder?" Matthew could see the edges of his mouth quirking up.

"Hey!"

"He isn't that bad." She commented, which made Ludwig stare at her and then switch to his brother. "Never let her go, Bruder."

* * *

><p>The ride there was uneventful mostly…Gilbert kept trying to flip the radio stations every five seconds only to have either Ludwig or Matthew scold him about it.<p>

Ludwig's house was in very good shape, as expected. They were greeted by three dogs and a perky Italian.

"Ve~ Ciao, Gilbert!" Feliciano rushed to hug the albino. "Hey Feli. Is Luddy treating you good?" Gilbert hugged the smaller man back in greeting before releasing him and stepping back to pull her forward. "This is Matthew Williams, as I'm sure you remember."

"Ciao, Matteo." Now it was her turn to be hugged. "Hi Feli, it's good to see you again."

"It's been so long since I've seen either of you! Gilbert should really bring you to visit more often-Oh! I just remembered I have a pasta-" "Feliciano, why don't we let them rest for tonight and you can show them the pasta recipe in the morning?" Ludwig suggested. "I'm sure they'd like to rest."

"Ve~ Of course, I'll show you to your room." Feliciano grabbed their hands and led them through the living room, down the hall, and to the second room on the right. "Here it is! The bathroom is over their next to the closet, and it already has towels, you can put your clothes in the dresser and there are extra blankets in the cedar chest."

"If you need anything our room is up stairs." Ludwig chimed in after placing their bags on the floor next to the bed.

"Come on Ludwig let's leave the lovebirds alone." Feliciano pulled his husband out of the room and sent a 'Ciao' over his shoulder before pulling the door to. Leaving the two 'fiancés' alone with burning cheeks at his comment.

* * *

><p>"I could always sleep on the floor." Gilbert offered. He stood next to the edge of the bed where Matthew laid.<p>

"No, we're supposed to be engaged remember." Countered Matthew. "And besides it's not like we haven't slept together before."

"There wasn't actually much sleep involved." Gilbert muttered, but still climbed into bed after her.

"Guten nacht, Matthew." Gilbert flicked off the bedside light and settled down to sleep.

"Bonne nuit, Gilbert." She placed the ring next to her glasses on the table and momentarily watching the clock numbers reflection on it before drifting to sleep.

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><p>So tell me what you think please.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own.

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><p>Matthew's first conscious thought was, '<em>Someone's trying to wake me up.'<em> Her second thought was, _'I'm going to break their fucking nose.'_

"Birdie, come on! We have to go meet my parents soon." Gilbert was shaking her shoulders. "I know you're awake, Matthew." He wouldn't stop shaking her shoulders, and it was getting on her nerves.

Just like that years of living with four (five counting Tino) older brothers and being captain of the hockey team made her do what she'd normally do in this sort of situation.

She punched him in the face.

"Ow! Mein Gott, Birdie! What the Hell?" Gilbert was cradling his cheek on the floor. "You punched me!"

"Just be happy I wasn't fully awake." Matthew kicked the covers off while sliding the glasses on her face. "Now what are we doing today?"

"We're meeting my parents for lunch in twenty minutes." He was still slightly glaring at her. "Then there's a family gathering tonight, nothing huge but they rented a room for the group."

"What time is it?" She quickly picked up the clock to check. "_Marde_! Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"Huh, gee, I wonder why? Maybe because you punched me in the face!" Gilbert retorted sarcastically. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Not really. No."

* * *

><p>Lunch was awkward…to say the least.<p>

Feliciano was rapidly talking off Ludwig's ear, oblivious to the atmosphere as usual. Ludwig was struggling to keep up with his husband while trying not ignore the others at the table. Gilbert' father was looking rather uncomfortable next to his ex-wife, who was currently giving both her and Feliciano the evil eye. Even after the food came, the rest of them just ate in the awkward silence.

"What happened to your face?"

"…Bar fight." Gilbert nodded to his father. "The guy was huge, Hello of a left hook too, but of course with my awesome skills I won."

"What was the name of the bar?" Questioned his mother.

…

…

…

"Just Be Happy."

"Ve~ But Gilbert, I thought you said that Matteo punched you when you tried to wake her up?"

…

…

…

"A bar fight, huh?" It looked like, from where she was sitting at least, that Aldrick was trying incredibly hard to stop the edges of his mouth from curving into a smile. "And where exactly did this 'guy' learn his left hook from?"

"Twenty years of hockey and five older brothers." Matthew snorted out between laughs. "And someone had to keep Alfred in check when we were at school."

"Alfred?" Johanna questioned. "An ex-boyfriend?"

"Hah! No. He's my younger twin half-brother."

"And how exactly does that work?" She questioned her, again. _'I dislike this woman.'_

"It's called heteropaternal superfecundation; when two different males father fraternal twins. There's actually only about a 1 in 40 odds that the children are actually half-siblings though." Matthew explained. "The simple way to put it is my mother committed adultery with my father than gave me up as soon as she found out, and gave me up because she found out I was a bastard."

…

…

…

"What?" She questioned. "Did I say something weird?" They were all staring at her, even Ludwig looked a little slack jawed.

"Ja, it was a little weird, Birdie." Gilbert agreed with her question. "How did you know all that off the top of your head?"

"I was curious so I looked it up a lot when I was younger." Matthew shrugged; she didn't see what the big deal was anyway. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to use the rest room before the check comes."

* * *

><p>"Is there something I can help you with?" Matthew didn't even bother to look up from washing her hands. "Or would you prefer to go on giving my back the stink eye?"<p>

"You'll never be good enough for Gilbert." _'Oh great she's one of those women.'_ "In my opinion you should go scampering back to Canada, little girl."

"I see you missed it then." Matthew commented, smiling at the woman she was starting to severely dislike.

"Missed what?" Johanna scoffed at her.

Now Matthew had turned around and had started advancing on her, making her back toward the wall.

"That your opinion means nothing to me." _Step_ "As far as you and I are concerned." _Step_ "You." _Step_ "Can." _Step_ "Go" _Wall_ "_Mange de la marde_." She spun away from her and calmly walked out the door.

Once she neared the table though and saw the check was already paid she double-timed it to get there and start tugging Gilbert from his seat.

"Jeez, Birdie what's wrong-" "We need to go **now**." She cut him off.

"Ve~ Why is Matteo in such a hurry to leave?"

"Gilbert!" _'Marde!'_ Johanna was angrily marching toward them, glaring straight at **her**.

"I am leaving now, but if you wish to see me again before you go back to Canada feel free to visit me at my house _alone_." She practically hissed the last word out.

"Mutti, aren't you coming to the dinner tonight?" Ludwig questioned.

"No." The woman turned on her heel and left them.

…

…

…

"What was that about?" _'Great now they're all staring at me again._

"In the bathroom…"

"Yes?"

"I told your mother…"

"Get on with it, Birdie."

"That she could go eat shit." Matthew blurted out. "In French."

…

…

…

"You are officially the awesomest person I know." Gilbert was staring at her in awe. "You defeated the dragon!"

"Gilbert you shouldn't speak about your mother that way." Aldrick scolded him, but it held no authority to it. "It's very bad."

"Mutti is very _intense,_ Vati."

"…You're supposed to be the good son."


	3. Note

I'm sorry to say I'm putting this on a hiatus for now.

I really thought I knew how this story was going to play out, but I got stonewalled.

Sorry.


End file.
